Naughty at 30
(Love Without Batteries #2)
by Cassandra Lawson
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Chelsea I’ve always loved those books where the younger sister falls for her older brother’s friend. Those stories have played a key role in my fantasies since my divorce six years ago. Unfortunately, I don’t have an older brother. I have a younger brother, and his best friend, Luke, has always been more annoying than attractive. At least, that’s how I’d seen him in the past.
Since Luke has walked back into my life, he is far from the awkward teen he was the last time I saw him. He is a walking temptation that I know I should avoid. Luke, on the other hand, has no doubts about our future, a fact he’s made clear from the moment we reconnected. He’s everything I could want in a man, which leaves me wondering if it’s really his age that bothers me, or if it’s my trust issues.
Love Without Batteries Series Following their disastrous marriages, Brook, Chelsea, and Delaney swore off men. After years of being on their own, these ladies have decided they want more. At the age of thirty, the three friends make a pact to re-enter the dating world. Little do they know they are all destined to find love in the arms of younger men.
***Each book in the Love Without Batteries series can be read as a standalone novel.
So far, my attempts at online dating had been a complete failure. I hadn’t even met with any of the women from the site. It was nice chatting and looking at profiles first, because it made it easier to pass on women I knew I wouldn’t be compatible with. That had probably saved me from a bunch of horrible first dates. I’d been chatting with this one woman for the last twenty minutes, and so far, she seemed pretty normal. When I’d mentioned my original intent to major in marine biology, she’d told me how much she loved the Monterey Bay Aquarium. This was the first woman I’d felt any sort of connection with since I’d signed up for an account. I was about to ask if she wanted to meet for a drink when a new message popped up on the chat screen.
VIV1990: Are you cut or uncut?
Luke2160: Huh? What do you mean cut?
VIV1990: I’m talking about your winky. Is it cut or uncut?
What the fuck? Had she seriously asked if my dick was circumcised? I didn’t even know where she’d come up with winky as a name for my dick, but I was not happy with that one at all. I figured I might have misunderstood what she was asking, so I decided to ask for clarification. It seemed pretty obvious, but it was also a big shift in our conversation.
Luke2160: Are you asking if I’m circumcised?
VIV1990: Yes. I’ve never been with a guy with an uncut winky. What would I even call a winky with a hood?
Maybe something more manly than winky, I wanted to say.
VIV1990: How about Lord Vader.
Luke2160: Vader had a helmet, not a hood.
VIV1990: The Grim Reaper?
VIV1990: No, it’s probably best not to think of death when we're having sex. Unless we're talking about La Petite Mort.
Luke2160: La Petite Mort?
VIV1990: You know. The little death. So, I guess you are uncut. I’ll have to see your cute little guy to know how I feel about that.
This was fast becoming the craziest chat I’d had with any woman on this site, and she’d seemed like the sanest when we’d started talking. I knew I should just end the chat, but for some reason, I continued on with the insanity.
Luke2160: It is never okay to use the words cute or little when talking about anything related to my dick.
Now, I felt like an idiot. We weren’t having sex. She wasn’t going to get a personal introduction to Excalibur. Yes, I’d named my dick Excalibur. I’d always been kind of nerdy, and I wasn’t about to apologize for it.
VIV1990: I can’t wait to meet your Wee Willy Winky and see his hood. This will be an adventure. Just make sure you clean the little guy first. I’ve heard they can be dirty.
Luke2160: I don’t think this is going to work out.
VIV1990: Why not? Is the sweet winky being shy and doesn’t want to come out? Mommy can coax him out.
Nope. There was no way in hell she could coax him out. I was circumcised, something Excalibur was still angry with my parents for, but I didn’t feel the need to share that with a complete stranger.
Luke2160: Sorry, but I don’t think we’re compatible.
VIV1990: Okay. Hope you find the right woman. It was fun talking to you.
That was the best thing about online dating. Awkward conversations usually ended on a positive note. The women I turned down had other profiles to look at. The bad part was that I was beginning to wonder if I was the problem. How could it be that I’d chatted with so many women, yet I hadn’t been willing to meet with even one of them? This one I had good reason to avoid. Excalibur did not approve of her.
When my phone buzzed, I was tempted to ignore it, figuring it was another notification from the dating site, but I decided to check it and found a text from my stepmom, Brook.
ME: This must be my day for strange conversations. Care to tell me what you’re talking about?
BROOK: I found the perfect woman for you on your dating site.
ME: Are you looking at women’s profiles to find one I’ll like?
BROOK: Just check her out. She’s exactly what you’ve been looking for.
ME: Thanks. I’ll check. Love you.
BROOK: Love you, too.
Opening the site up again, I typed in the profile name to search for MissFixIt and nearly swallowed my tongue when I saw the hot blonde standing in front of an impressive workbench with a tool belt around her hips. The picture made it obvious this woman liked to work with her hands, and she didn’t need a man to change a light bulb for her. Her well-worn jeans and tight black t-shirt hugged her sexy curves, making my dick throb with arousal. She was hot as fuck, and she was also my best friend’s older sister, a fact Brook already knew.
The last time I’d seen Chelsea, she’d been so drunk, she’d thought my name was Jake. Since I’m not the type to get turned on by intoxicated women, I’d been in no way interested. There had been this part of me that had assumed my adolescent crush on her was over when I’d had no reaction to her that night, but seeing this picture proved I was far from over Chelsea. I was definitely going to spend more time around MissFixIt.
Cassandra Lawson is an author of paranormal romance and contemporary romantic comedy from the San Francisco Bay Area. She has always had an active imagination and enjoyed making up stories from a young age. A hopeless romantic, she loves a happy ending. When she is not writing, Cassandra enjoys baking, spending time with her family, listening to music, or curling up with a good book.