ABUSE by Nikki Sex
REVIEW
5 Stars!!
Dark doesn't even begin to describe the basis of what this story is made of..
You blew me away Nikki Sex. BLEW. ME. AWAY.
Soulful isn't a strong enough description for the way this story touched my mind not to mention how it messed with my heart..
+ Merciless is only the beginning in how Nikki Sex's writing turned mere words and pages into a never ending consumption of emotions..
I was so consumed by the story, even from the very beginning, that I knew having any sort of shield against my "sane" emotions would be useless when it came to Grant, Renata and Andre. It was so easy to fall for the story. That being said, it was fucking heartbreaking to see all the darkness consuming at the characters minds.
HOPE.
DARKNESS.
FEAR.
LOSS.
SHAME.
ALONE.
TEARS.
DEPRESSION.
AGGRESSION.
CONFUSION.
LOVE.
HATE.
SORROW.
SECOND CHANCES.
MISTAKES.
HUMOR.
LUST.
SEXINESS.
SOULFUL.
BREATHTAKING!
Nikki Sex doesn't hold back. She pushes every damn boundary there is and that is only the bare top layer in starting to develop a powerful story.
Going into this book I knew it will evolve around the darker elements, the sadness and the tears as well as the screams of agony from mental and physical pain.. But I never expected for my heart to literally break into so many pieces that by the middle of the story, I wasn't sure whether I would be the same person as I was when I looked at the cover and decided to flip that first page..
I was right. My fears have come true.
Ending this story, I couldn't have been a more different person even if I tried. Without sugarcoating anything, I think I can so proudly say that this has got to be THE book for me. Even as I am writing this review (which took so many times of putting my hands on the keyboard and trying to type it out but only ended up feeling tears fall between the keys.. I willed myself so many bloody times to write a review, something to make at least half an ounce of justice to the story. But it was so hard. So fucking hard.), I can distinctly remember ever moment my emotions towards Grant flooded over my morality.
Every second that I literally had to hold my heart for dear life over not only what he went through but the RAW EMOTIONS behind them. How the author expressed his pain and darkness in such a simple yet such an effective manner. I honestly teared up and cried like a kid more times than I care to admit.
A part of my very own messed up heart officially belongs to him, Grant, a lost soul with a darkness that felt so good when he had someone to share it with..
Andre. Another word for "hope".
The center point in guiding one broken soul towards a path that might inevitably lead them to another even more messed up one..
Andre made me laugh and cry at the same time because he truly represented the black and white of the story. Or maybe it was the grey part? That part that bonded the broken pieces as well as he could. He was the glue to Grant and Renata's still fractured minds.
I love Andre.
He was that fictional character which you would be so lucky to find even though you thought you weren't looking for. But there he was. The humor filled, strong minded, soulful and bigger than any heart I've ever read or personally that came across.
Abuse isn't a light read. It isn't like any other story you would have come across. That I can be 120% sure about. Trust me, I have read more dark books than should be deemed normal, so when I say this one is at the top, it can only come as an understatement.
I wont explain what happens because the synopsis is there and I think if I begin to explain any part of the story I might end up spoiling the backbone of this breathtaking book. One thing I can do, aside from looking like a crying mess trying to wipe off the smeared mascara right about now? I can reassure you that this story, this book, these characters NEED to be part of your New Years Resolution.
Grant, Andre and Renata are characters that can only be found on those rare occasions, and I am so fucking glad that I found them!!
If you haven't already guessed, ABUSE is officially my #1.Hands down. The one book that I will forever recommend and wish I could read over for the first time..
The prized possession of a story that has reached into my heart and twisted it half which was worth it. All that pain reading into the very individual characters stories was so damn worth it.
Connecting with the characters came second nature.
Connecting with the story was something I shouldn't have done but it just happened.
I shouldn't have done it only because it brought along so many dark, twisted and unforgivable memories and emotions of my very own. But that is never going to be a negative because those are the same emotions as is a smile, a laugh and even love. Yes one is desired more than the other, but emotions are emotions and they come in many forms.
Of the many things that I have learned reading this book and talking with the amazing author? Emotions even the darkest of them out there, are okay. It's okay to cry from happiness or from pain. It's okay to be sad if something didn't go as planned. It's also okay to feel like darkness is consuming part of your mind. And you know why those are okay even though you are probably shaking your head at how absurd it sounds?
It's okay because abuse is not.
Abuse is not okay.
Whether mental or physical ABUSE will NEVER BE OKAY.
No matter how little or short it may last or even how easy it may come to be, it's never okay.
One simple word related to abuse can be the turning point in someones life. What you may see as just another life lesson could be the breaking point for another. So no, it's not okay.
This story has so much going for it. You might think it wouldn't be your cup of tea because you are looking for a light read or it may end up being too dark for your life already filled with minor and major problems. You might even be going through one of the darkest points in your life..
I promise you, what ever your reasons might be in not giving this books a chance, don't listen to them. I promise you one more thing. You will cry, laugh and hold onto your heart more often than you ever had before if you delve into Andre, Grant and Renata's world.
I was addicted from the very beginning and would never ever regret having gone to hell and back reading such a deep and meaningful story. And if that last sentence is too much to take in or if it scared you away, just remember, it's just "fiction" after all right? ;)
Without having to pick up any more tears off my laptop, hands and jumper, or turning into the spoiler zone, I will leave you to your very own tears when you decide to delve into this story..
I couldn't have been more thankful in finding a book that I NEVER expected to end up meaning so much to me. But fucking hell I was a mess closing that last page and no amount of chocolate or wine or boyfriend will be getting these emotions out of my system!!
With an officially broken heart and a mind gone to the other side of sane, I cannot bloody wait for the second part because simple put, I NEED MORE GRANT in my life!!! and Andre of course!
I've written my fair share of hard reviews, those that remind you of the emotions you felt reading that one book which made you a mess. But I think it's fair to say this has been the hardest one yet.. and I haven' even gone through all the quotes..
Till next time, stay tuned for added quotes/excerpts from the story, but for now, just a heads up? Grab a box or three of tissues and your favorite chocolates JUST to be prepared for the beginning. I don't think you will be ready for the entire story but I can reassure you, YOU WILL LOVE every dark inch.
THANK YOU Nikki Sex for creating a story with characters that each hold their very own among a world that should not be okay to occupy anyone's mind. You made it into a story that brings so many emotions, so many feels and so much depth for something made into fiction, that still manages to make it as real as the tear that just escaped my rim red eye.
xx
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